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There was a time when I smoked and didn’t hide it. I was young, dumb, sad, lonely, and drunk most of the time. Smoking was the least of my problems.

As I got older, and supposedly wiser and healthier, I got crafty with my smoking. Not only did I hide it the best I could, but I tried to rationalize and defend my smoking. Mostly to myself, but sometimes to other people, I’d have debates about the science around smoking and health. I enumerated all the reasons that smoking isn’t as bad as people had made out to be. I was desperate.

It doesn’t matter what the science had to say for or against smoking. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about it, good or bad. Smoking had become bad for me. And it had been bad for me for awhile. But there was still something about it that I couldn’t let go.

I’d had legitimate problems with smoking and drinking for some years. I’d tried a lot of different ways to quit or at least make it better. And nothing, long term, seemed to work.

And then there I was, at the tail end of an absolute bender, when my only friend and my wife stepped in and said you have to get help.. and we’ll do whatever we healthily can to help you get it. They said, “We only ask ONE THING of you, one and only one thing.” That one thing changed my life forever, and gave me what I’d always been missing. Do you know what that was?

Over the years I’d have people ask me why I couldn’t stay “clean.” My favorite (insert eye roll) was a straight to the point and compassionless “what’s wrong with you?” Outsiders (what I call anyone not living in my body) were perplexed as to why “their solution” wasn’t working for me.

I’d been in “recovery” groups. I’d been to counseling. I’d gone to church. I’d been introduced to new “friends.” I’d read the books. I’d worked the steps. And still I hadn’t changed for the better.

I think smoking (and drinking) was something for me. It had become “my thing.” For a moment, my needs came first.

I believe, armed with that insight, my lone friend and my wife asked me that one question… “WHAT’S GOOD FOR YOU?” And they meant it. And they acted according to it.

They supported ME! They let me know that sometimes your own personal, “selfish” needs have to come first! And for what felt like the first time in my life, I mattered.

And then the next best feeling came; release. Instantly I was no longer thinking about how I could get my next smoke or drink, but how I was going to get my life back… And I did. I am!

Is someone you know and love hurting? Do they need help? If you are caring for someone ask yourself what’s good for them. Better yet, ASK THEM what’s good for them. What is good for them that’s going to support the life that is right for them, not the life that’s right for you, the life that’s right for them?

Are you hurting? Do you need help? When youre caring for yourself, ask yourself, what’s good for you? Love yourself enough to know whatever you need is good enough. And surround yourself with people and things that will support you, whatever the answer.

“What’s good for you?” It was simple. It is simple. But, when supported, it will change your life!

Craig Keaton
Craig is a co-Founder of The Movement and author of THE MOVEMENT’s BioChemistry. When he’s not raising and educating his two children with his wife, he coaches clients in the Dallas Fort Worth Area. For more with Craig, go to OR find him on facebook Craig Keaton

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